NU Y3ARS.

I'm am the biggest idiot I know.

Honestly, who else could completely forget that it was New Years last night!
Luckily I remembered in time to make it to a party one of my friends had invited me to and had quite the lovely (completely classy..ahem) evening. However this morning didn't turn out as wonderfully as I'd expect; waking up squashed between two other people on a sofa bed with horrible cramps after laying in the most contorted position I've ever found myself. Despite all this I really met some awesome people and that really is all I wanted for the new year.

Anyhow, I'd just like to say a BIG thank you to all my close friends and family who've put up with me for yet another year. I love you all dearly and wish you the best for 2011!

You mean the world to me...ishax

Smiles, singing and sexual inuendos

I've just been subjected to the BRADY BUNCH MOVIE. Oh, it's been far too long! I have to say though, that this is one of the most hilarious movies I've ever watched. The almost psychotic nature of every child in the 'Bunch' family... especially Jan (you know, the ugly middle child who always says: "MARSHA, MARSHA, MARSHA!"??) paired with the inadverted sexual inuendos and henious sing-a-longs make so non-stop 'WTF' moments and hilarious laughter.
Iroically it seems that in recent times people really have been drawing upon that glorious 60's brady bunch fashion. Even I admit that some of the patterns are absolutely adorable.
Anyway, here are my two favourite parts from the first Brady Bunch Movie and ironically they all involve the glorious and HILARIOUS Jan:

Who is that?
It's me. The new Jan Brady!
Let's knock over a 7-11!! >:

REALLY JAN? REALLY?
WTFFFFFFFFFF...ishax

At ease.

I have absolutely no complaints about today.

Actually I'm feeling rather relaxed whilst watching old episodes of the Chasers War on Everything and gormandising on my new 'king' of all treats- Apple flavoured Licorice; although I've come to realise how much Chasers loses its humour after time fades because of its topical nature.

Anyhow, once I get my butt off the couch I'll most probaby end up spending the day with my sister as we get yet another batch of her photo's developed.

My secret plan for today-find a giant, completely original art piece that will totally leave people gobsmacked. What will most probably happen: ABSOLUTELY NADDA!

Let's hope it's the former...ishax

Plantation Pets.

I did something remarkably and wonderfully selfish about 2 hours ago. I waltzed into IKEA, and bought myself two of the coolest indoor plants EVER!

After a full week of thought I decided that the moment I go back to college, instead of owning some sort of lame pet (i.e.: fish, or even my beloved sea monkeys) I would buy one of the most low maintenance yet highly 'accessorise-able' items I have come accross in all my days.

"How-so?" you ask?... Well the idea actually came to me after part-taking in the annual 'dressing of the stupid mineature tree we have in our house' for Christmas event.- Actually, my sister and Aunt decorated it... I just sat on my arse eating chips and upon their completion, told them if they had done a decent enough job. Anyhow, I realised that you can do sooo many things to trees and really go all out with making them look absoultely gorgeous (using lights, ornaments, hats, chains etc!) and evidently I decided that a tree trumps any other sort of pet one can own.

Don't believe me? Then just observe the following 5 simple reasons.

5 simple reasons as to why trees TRUMP and other for of 'pet'

(inc. rocks and sea-monkeys)

1. A tree is completely low maitainence.

2. It's not attention seeking.

3. You can change it to suit whatever mood you create in your room.

4. IT HELPS YOU LIVE! -Oxygen people!!

and 5. Seriously, have you ever ever tried dressing up a fish? or putting fairy lights on sea monkeys?- Yeh, good luck!

Ultimately I do believe I have made a very good investment in my two beautiful trees which I will have to find fitting names for soon. They're both gorgeous palms anlthough I'm considering adding a giant peace lilly to my collection. Anywho, I'll let you knw how it all goes.

Until next time...ishax

Days like mould

Today I spent the majority of the morning soaked in a veil of bleach and mould killer, braving the horrors of our family bathroom so that mother dearest would finally cease her complaining that: "no-one in this family does anything productive round here!" -As of late, it has become somewhat of her battle cry. Regardless, I managed to remove every sceric of grime all thanks to our labyrinth's worth of cleaning products (Oh Easy Off-BAM, you definitely don't disappoint!) and eventually found myself free of the house and walking maze-like city corridors with my friend Mikey.

I actually really enjoy hanging out with Michael mainly because he's one of the few male friends I have that doesn't shy away from the prospect of shopping. He even helped me search for a homecoming present for my best friend Bee, who will return shortly from a long-lasting years worth of German living!
Sadly, it seemed that even after almost 4 hours of shopping and despite browsing almost everywhere we were no closer to finding that perfect gift; although the hunt did create a few laughs as he decided that playing urban 'hide-and-seek' whilst I was buying and all too delicious pudding flavoured Bubble Tea was a good idea. In reality it resulted in a 5 minute silent treatment and four consecutive 'JERK!' text messages being sent to his phone.

A while later I managed to orchestrate what I considered both a daunting and embarrassing form of revenge by forcing poor Mikey to trape through MYERS lingerie department. However, his reaction was quite the let down- or maybe it just proved how much more immature I am, as he made no squeamish noises and instead lead me to cringe after exclaiming how much he liked the fake boobs of a scantily clad model on one of the stores promotional posters.
Eventually after finding him an acceptable pair of skinnies we both headed home and I found myself collapsed on the couch-bed I have come to call my own. Although it wasn't one of my life's most productive days it was pretty fun and I am gosh darn (gotta keep this G-rated) exhausted, which is something I haven't been for a very long time.
Oh well, there's always tomorrow to find my beloved Dirty Bee something that tickles her fancy before she returns.

and didn't that just sound dirty. *sigh.

Maturity you've evaded me again!...ishax

DO YOU-

Like fried chicken?...

Like Rainbows?...

Cheezy Music?...

HELL YEAH!

Then Go to Google.

Type in 2204355

and click "I'm Feeling Lucky"

Femme Boredom

...Or fuck the rules and wake up baked.

Now that's female boredom...ishax

P.S- we're out of milk.

A quote from one of my favourite movies of all time: P.S I love you.

Daniel Connelly: Sorry, I have a syndrome. I don't really have a filter. I don't pick up on social cues.
Holly Kennedy: You mean you're rude?
Daniel Connelly: Yeah, but now it's a disease I can take medication for.

Stupid? Yes. But there's no way one can knock something that just made me laugh after on hell of a shitty afternoon. I suppose it's the best way to make sure that everyday you find something that makes you smile.

My silver lining...ishax

Still-frame Genius

I've recently come across this amazing photographer whose work has completely blown me out of the water. Her name is Mary Robinson and at what I believe is 17yrs old, this girl really has an amazing talent for photographing simplistic beauty. So now I'm going to shut up so that you can be exposed to the same level of (as Barney Stinson would say)... AWESOME, that I've been able to witness after following her f-log (yes, that is short for photo blog).

These are deffinitely some of my favourites, so if you adore photography or are just looking for something truly gorgeous I highly reccommend you check out Mary Robinson's Photo Dairy .

You might just be surprised by what you find...ishax

If my dog could read minds....

At present I'm experiencing notorious 'family time'; my sister sits facing me, on the opposite side of the room- mirroring my interest in the laptops glowing screen, whilst my dad plays guitar on the lounge between each of us. - the crux of his Hispanic flare I believe is a bid to convince himself as well as his two daughters that he is really Spanish. This has been happeneing most frequently since dad spent a short time in the country, more than 2 years ago.

This is all being done under the guise of watching T.V. or more precisely- watching some show about psychic pets. . . (Yeah, I'm feeling more retarded and anti-social by the minute).
Nevertheless, it made me realise how droll my Monday night's shenanigans have become since leaving college. I have no commitment any more- even in the face of a FREE CLOUD CONTROL CONCERT tonight!

Shameful- I know.

Lame- Yeah, you're right.

So, why do I feel so happy doing nothing?...ishax
(Also kudos to Photographer Mary Robinson- I've used a fair few photos of hers as of late and I plan to do a write-up very shortly)

Juvies and Children Chasing.

I've just spent my day entertaining children of ages 5 and 8 and I'm not gunna lie, it's EXHAUSTING! So finally after spending copious amounts of time playing horsey and listening to (tween pop sensation) Justin Bebier- yeah, I can't even spell the dude's name; I've finally found time for myself... and it just so happens to now be quarter past eleven! This whole day has really made me realise how badly I don't want kids, which truly does sound horrible, but in all honesty I think it'd be best for the world if there weren't miniature duplicates of myself running around causing havoc.

Seriously, even one of me is a handful- just ask my sister.

Maybe in twenty years time, if I ever come across my blog again, and manage to remember my own password, I will probably read this and wonder what the hell I was thinking (implying that I would, at such time have already either had my own kids or had adopted a severely attention seeking dog with similar traits to a child)....

Never the less, my point is that I guess it's true that time, people and places are always changing, so you really do have to be open minded about such things.

But for now, I'm more than happy to abuse my first year of adulthood by wearing the most gaudy, outlandish and heinous outfits imaginable and suffering through a treasured 'juvie' hissy fit or two.

All I have is today...ishax

Moon.

When you're the moon you split people down the middle.
Some people go 'ah look, he's nice with his white face, he's all gentle hanging in the sky'...
Some people go 'eerrr he's a vanilla rapist, get him away from my kids'!!

I miss the nights like this, where I'd walk over to U-dub at night and just watch the sky.

I guess there's not that long to wait though...ishax

Talks of Fury, Passion, Shame.

Having 'the talk' is the most frustrating, nerve-wracking and stressful moment of most people's relationships. Even I find myself cowering at the prospect of asking those questions that I'm dying to know. The simple ones, that most often you already know the answers to. If you expect their reply to be good; you ask because you need that confirmation which will propel your relationship further. Conversely, if you assume the worst; you ask them in the hope that bringing up feelings and emotions may change the object of your affection's mind.
We've all had those talks, and there is no doubt that a times, the replied we've been looking for aren't the ones we may have wished for. So here-in lies the problem of when to let go.
As of late, I've had a fair few friends talk to me about their relationship problems ( so much so that sometimes, I think I should just become a relationship councilor so I can get paid for my 'services' ).
Anyhow, it seems that as well as myself there are other people out there who find it difficult to lay down the lines in a relationship and it's really got me thinking, that if you're not comfortable enough to ask the person you're with these kinds of questions then maybe you're not fully ready to be in a relationship.
I think the most important things a couple needs to posses in order to function really well and for both people to get the most out of their relationship is the ability to be open with each other; to talk (which admittedly is something I'm aware of lacking in my own personal life) and to realise that as well as spending time together, that each person needs their own space.

I truly feel as though that's the greatest thing you can give to someone you care about.

(well, maybe there are some more enjoyable things)

But for now, lets live in the land of innocence shall we?...ishax

Irony; Food for the Indie Soul.

This is a letter to a nameless individual and their counterparts.

So uh, word on the grapevine is that you actually have cheated on your girlfriend.
Actually I know this as I heard it from the chick herself. Although I'm in utter disbelief that she'd go there because seriously, that chick is WAAAAY to good for you!
I do however, find it HILARIOUS that I was ever accused of seduction and falcified rumour spreading when you've just proved that:
1. You're a dog and no seduction is needed and
2. That those so called 'rumours' were true.

Oh irony, how I love you...ishax