Smack my bitch up

Manly Suicide....weird huh? But this particular post I found absolutely hilarious. Not only are the notions completely ludicrous but the rating scheme including "level of manliness" and "mess" categories makes for one hell of an entertaining 15 minute read.

Click this link to read.

In closure I am neither for or against suicide. It really is for the individual to decide after all and I can't say that I've been a stranger to the idea.

Each to their own...ishax

Godzilla, eat my heart out.

I feel horrible today. I just re-read that and feel worse.

Time to cheer ones-self up with a random picture.

ha.

This post is so depressing that I may not post it...ishax

Are you 'the sexy'?

Let me just say, watching 'Worlds sexiest men' with my mum does make for quite the awkward Sunday night activity. She has a fetish for anyone with dark skin and I differ considerably in opinions. Before the show ends I'm throwing out the pick for worlds number one sexiest man: Tyson Beckford. Well, at least that's been mums pick the hole night.

I googled him and realised that this:

...IS FORTY YEARS OLD.

and He's dating a nineteen year old!!!

(Granted they both look amazing, but still the age difference was enough to slightly sway mums decision) I'm yet to find an individual in this show who I really find attractive... we're up to number 9. Wish me luck!

Oh shit, number 8 is Johnny Depp...

DROOL!...ishax

Binding News

I have a horrible habit of binding my waist.

When I was little I thought it was rather fun to be somewhat like the beautiful ladies I saw on old English films and once every blue moon I find it quite enjoyable to relive my childhood fantasy. That was, until I saw this picture yesterday.

It's kind of scary to think that I've done something similar to my body and really does make you realise just how much your childhood tends to influence your life.

Why don't I ever hear good news??...ishax

Jerks from the same social network... how original.

If asking me over fb chat "Do you go to the gym" and stating that "your name's fucked" is meant to be insulting to me then some sad individuals really need to grow up.

God, howchildish can some people be?

Answers to both the question and the statement are:

1. yes &

2. Fuck the fuck off.

I've never met individuals so rude and I really do hope that one day they find better things to do with their time.

Sincerely...ishax

I WOULD SELL MY SISTERS LEFT ARM FOR....

I almost forgot, I really wanted to to a big list of all the things that I want for 2011, and when I say it's for the New Year, I'm not really talking about making any New Year's Resolutions, although hmmm... maybe you could call them 'shopping resolutions'. Anyhow this is just a short list of things I really really want in 2011; things that I WOULD SELL MY SISTERS LEFT ARM FOR....seriously, she doesn't use it anyway. Regardless here is a list of items both weird, cute, funny and totally morbid that I hope will entertain.

1. I want that picture of the Girl with the Pearl earring from TYPO that looks like she's been shot in the head. Although in all honesty, I really would prefer her without the gaping hole in her head, and just wearing that awesome gothic make-up that makes up part of that portrait.

2. I want a Shave Baby. But not just any baby, I want the limited edition; super rare SHAVE ME RANGA BABY. Seriously, it combines my love of orange hair, with my love of children and sharp shaving objects. What more could a gal want!?

3. I really want either of these bags. The first one, I'm totally planning to make myself as it is insanely easy and looks amazing. The second I will have to steal off this girl. Or go to bali and force someone in slave labour to make it for me. I'm thinking the first would be more humane.

4. I would like to poses a beautiful WWBD spin board. As it is both delicious and entertaining!

5. This is both creepy, gross and hilarious; and although I don't often cook whilst at college, I would greatly appreciate having this glorious book in my collection. It would also be th most wonderful gift to any sexual deviant or pervert.

6. I want this, framed above my bed. Just so any boy that enters, will know exactly what's expected of him. "A good boy always sleeps with his hands above the covers".

And that's pretty much all I wanted for Christmas but could never tell my family/ never got. Hopefully this year I will covert each and every one of these lovely items. I can tell you this much though, finding them will be a blast! God I sounded like that freak on that t.v. show that no-body likes... Jimmy Nutron or something???

Woah.... even better:

I just used 3 'that's' in a sentence...

Ooooh and three apostrophes.

Bring on my day of Tripods!!!

:| But not in that way...ishax

Technology hates me & musical poop.

Why must my computer keep trying to commit suicide on me??? -I don't google that many horrible things now do I?

Yep, that's right guys; despite just buying a brand new battery for my laptop it seems that the problem is no longer with the battery. Now it's with the laptop charger. CUT ME A BREAK TECHNOLOGY! So in the mean time, I've been using my brand new (supposed to be only for uni work) Macbook to fulfil my computerring needs, however, it's proved the most hassle-some thing as I can't up-date my ipod & submitting my resume` has become IMPOSSIBLE due to the fact that I can no longer access it on a dead computer. It's so dead that I'm almost certain it will decay any day! -I already got the fright of my life when I found a cockroach crawling around on it. FYI guys, did you know that if you smash its head, a cockroach will keep living..... Yeah, found that one out the hard way :\

Anyway before I end this small post I just wanted to share with you, something I overheard whilst eating lunch with my male creator a few days ago.

So here I am, eating my "Gozleme" (I swear that's how you spell it, contrary to the blogger spell check) and I hear this father with his kids say the following:

"Okay, you two go get some ice cream, I'm gunna go drop a beat."

*A WHAT?* I thought to myself. Is this man gonna get up and start performing or something??

The kids, obviously being as clueless as myself (yeah I took a sneak peak at their faces and they were truly entering the zone of 'WTF') proceeded to ask their dad, in the most casual of manners what the hell he was on about.

The guy was talking about taking a shit.

My Brain kind of resembled a large pile of Goo by this point.

Seriously??? Do you think calling that particular act 'dropping a beat' will make bringing it up any less awkward? I mean, maybe if they were a family of beatniks and the kids responded nonchalantly "Sho` daddyo, gunna drop a 'c' or a 'd'...." I MAY have forgiven them and been able to resume my lunch. But no. There were no beatniks holding cool bongo drums and those poor kids must've been left dying on the inside. Anyhow, that is just a random thing that happened to me the other day that did kinda of leave me wondering:

Can shit even be musical???...ishax

Ebay gripes.

I have one complaint for the day. That being EBAYERS.

Dear stupid Ebay bidders,

Why can't you realise that the later you wait to bid, the lower the freaking price of whatever the hell you're bidding on stays!! Why are you bidding over 100 bucks for a shirt that has obviously come from an Op-shop, and probably cost like 4 dollars when there is still 13 days left on a freaking auction!!??? Like cool if you're not gunna be on the net for the next two weeks and may possibly miss re-bidding, but no doubt, you will be on that stupid computer, on that same stupid site, looking at the same stupid garment; or rice cooker; or what-ever the hell else EVERY BLOODY HOUR (on the hour) of EVERY BLOODY DAY!

%$#@&^$!!!!!!!!

Now that all the ranting is over, I can breathe easy.

And continue watching Peter Pan!...ishax

Tormenting Innocents.

I think that one day, should I ever decide to have children I would want to torment them. Sounds horrible right? Well maybe this could be evidence of some form of psychosis... or maybe it's just to make sure that they don't ever repeat what I've countless times voiced myself; "That I never should pro-create". In order to do so, I have devised the perfect plan; one which will undoubtedly scar them for life. That being, I will send them a video simple entitled the following:

Yes, it will be done... although I'm guessing by which time the video will be non-existent. What a shame! Maybe I'll just have to post it on tumblr.

Bahahahahahaa!

Ppppfft. like that'll ever happen!...ishax

Scribbles of Life

I just think....

that this makes a whole lot of sense.

Simplicity is Bliss...ishax